Take That Cone of Shame
Dear Smart T.,
I have had just a horrible week. First my humans take me to the vet and leave me there. Then I come home all groggy, minus some things if you know what I mean and with this thing around my neck. It was hard for me to see, walk and eat, so I decided to take care of it myself. The humans were pretty upset (not as upset as me of course) but they went out and got me this other thing. It is not as bad - but I still don’t know why I have to wear it. Should I just chew it up too?
Disgusted in Ankeny
Dear Disgusted:
No! Do not chew it up too. What you originally had on was an Elizabethan collar or in popular culture called the “Cone of Shame”. First let me say you have done nothing wrong or anything you need to be ashamed of. The collar is actually a medical device used to prevent biting, licking or scratching while a wound or injury heals. If you lick or scratch at those wounds it actually can disrupt the healing process and introduce bacteria into the wound. You don’t want to have to go back to the vet do you? I know that it feels weird and you want it off but it is really there to help you.
If you find this device really distasteful as you obviously did, there are other types of protective devices that your humans can use like the inflatable donut or even a onesie. But they should be used with supervision to make sure that you are not getting out of it or are able to turn around and lick at those wounds. To assist with eating, humans can try raising your food bowl so the collar does not have to touch the ground. When it is time to go for a walk, your humans should bring along some delicious treats to make sure you hold your head up. I know your peripheral vision will be impaired and you will bump into a few things but it is only for a short period of time. Please do not use every dog’s secret weapon - The Boo-Boo Eyes - to guilt your humans into taking it off. Remember it is for your health that they are doing it. Save that trick to get something yummy like a hot dog!
You will be well soon my friend, hang in there.
Mr. Smart T. Pants