Why Is This Tree Inside?

Dear Mr. Smart T. Pants,

Every year the humans bring in a tree from the outside and put it in our living room. They then spend a ridiculous amount of time putting stuff all over it. And, get this, if we do anything to it, they have the nerve to yell at me and the dog (okay he deserves it). But we are just doing what we would normally do when we see an outside tree or shiny object. What is up with that?

Boots

Boots is not impressed with his inside tree.

Dear Boots,

You are so right. What the humans don’t understand is that we HAVE to explore this interloper in our home. And we are only doing what they praise us for when we are outside. What is the difference between peeing on a tree outside and doing it inside? Word to the wise- don’t do it unless you want to get yelled at. Or for my cat friends, they always give you shiny round things to play with - why not what is on the tree? Humans - who can figure them out!

But here is my advice, stay clear of the tree unless the humans are in the room. This way you can see what is acceptable to them and what is not. For example, sleeping under the tree maybe considered cute and they will take out their phone to take another picture. Climbing up the tree to reach the top, not considered cute.

Picture with just a little butt - cute.

Picture ripping open presents and pulling down tree - not cute.

And humans here is my advice to you. Stop putting up barriers or distractions, such as baby gates or chimes, to prevent us from getting at the tree. We will take it as a challenge and will only want it more. If you are not going to be home, don’t allow us access to the room with the tree - it is just too tempting. Finally, don’t make a big deal about us and the tree. We will eventually get bored with it and move onto other things.

Take heart Boots, the tree will be gone soon.

Mr. Smart T. Pants